6 Behaviors That Cause Pain to the Spirit of God

 

by Barbara Latta @barbaralatta

 When we give instructions to our children and they refuse to obey, we don’t throw them out of the family. But our hearts suffer because we see that when they rebel, they hurt themselves and sow seeds that will reap destructive consequences later.

How much more does our heavenly Father desire what is best for us? He doesn’t want the enemy of our souls to grasp us with his talons of evil works.

Paul’s instructions to the church in Ephesus told them not to grieve the Holy Spirit.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (Ephesians 4:30 NIV)

All sin grieves the Holy Spirit. We will focus on 6 behaviors that can cause pain to the Spirit of God found in the book of Ephesians.

 1. Negative Speech

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)

The Israelites complained about everything while they were in the wilderness.

The same heart-breaking attitude can be reflected in our words if we don’t keep a watch over our mouths.

2. Uncontrolled Emotions

 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. (Ephesians 4:32 NKJV)

All these words sound like the same emotion, but they are different in subtle ways.

Bitterness is a root formed by unforgiveness that can produce other sins.

Wrath is indignation that can rise gradually and then subside. These are feelings that come and go due to thoughts and exposure to actions of others.

Anger rises when we abhor injustice. This feeling can be used righteously as in Jesus’ cleansing of the temple. But we must guard ourselves that we don’t use anger in a vengeful way when we feel that we have personally been wronged (Ephesians 4:26).

Clamor is a deep crying or wail in distress, like self-pity.

Malice is the destruction of a person’s character through slander or to blaspheme and give no respect to God.

We can all be guilty of these emotions at times, and we know how destructive they can be to our lives.

3. Lying

Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. (Ephesians 4:25 NIV)

 It’s hard to admit that we, as Christians, sometimes tell a fib. We may think we don’t fall under this category, but we can find ourselves not telling the whole truth at times. And a little bit of falsehood is still a lie. False flattery is one way we lie to each other. We don’t want to offend our brothers and sisters, but we also shouldn’t say something we don’t mean.

What about gossip? Words disguised as prayer requests or stories spread as attempts at aid can still be classified as lying.

 We are members the same family (1 Corinthians 12:26). When one hurts, we all hurt so why would we want to damage each other with untruths?

 4. Falling for Deception

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. (Ephesians 5:6)

Jesus warned about wolves in sheep’s clothing coming in with false words (Matthew 7:15). The Galatians swallowed the lie that they also needed to obey the Law of Moses along with belief in Christ to be saved (Galatians 5:4).

We can only stay on course by knowing the truth and not listening to anything that contradicts what the Bible says. We do this by grounding ourselves in the Word. (Romans 12:1-12).

 The result of listening to false doctrine can draw us away from Him and into sinful actions.

 5. Stealing

Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. (Ephesians 4:28)

Robbery is not part of the lifestyle of Christians. We don’t hold up banks or stores and ride off into the sunset with the loot. But the size or value of an item is not what determines theft. Even if we didn’t intentionally take money or products, keeping incorrect change, or not returning an item a clerk mistakenly places in our bag is defrauding the store.

Cheating on taxes or falsifying business documents could also fall under the category of lying.

These are small indiscretions, and these behaviors may seem insignificant. But they do matter. God sees all, and He is saddened when we don’t reflect His character.

6.  Drunkenness

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18)

The debate about Christians drinking alcohol will probably continue until Jesus comes back. But the Scripture is clear about drunkenness. This is another problem Paul addressed in several places due to the background the new Christians converted from.

The same principle can apply to alcohol as to the eating of food outlined in Romans chapter 14. We are not to judge, but we are also told not to be a stumbling block to another person’s faith (Romans 14:13). We should consider how all activities and attitudes we engage in can be interpreted by others.

Live in the Fruit of the Spirit

We are forgiven for all these soul wanderings, but that doesn’t give us a free pass for committing any fleshly act. Living in the fruit of the Spirit will keep us sensitive to God's voice and will empower us against any temptations.

Rather than grieving the Spirit, we can praise and thank Him.

Join the conversation and share your thoughts.

Image by Dorothe from Pixabay

Forgiveness doesn't give us a free pass for committing any fleshly act. Living in the fruit of the Spirit will keep us sensitive to God's voice and empower us against any temptations. (share on X)null

This post is an excerpt from an article that appeared on Crosswalk.com. 

How Can We Conquer the Root of Rejection?

by Barbara Latta

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me!” This often-taunted phrase is a

How can we conquer the root of rejection

lie. Words can hurt worse than a physical injury and last much longer. The emotional scars left behind can take years to heal if the hurt is not dealt with properly. Rejection comes in many forms such as bullying from peers or abuse by those in positions of authority.

But we can have a great life in one area and still experience rejection in other areas of our lives and the effects can be just as devastating if left unchecked.

Rejection Isn’t Always Through Abuse

My home was very loving and kind. I didn’t grow up with abuse, foul language, yelling, drugs, alcohol or lack.

But there were times when I felt the ultimate rejection.

I was shy. I didn’t initiate friendships or participation in games and sports; therefore, when teams were formed, I was the last one chosen.

I wasn’t the cute kid who won the little beauty contests. No one ever told me I was ugly, but my ears always perked up when someone else was told how pretty they were. So, my mind said, “You’re ugly.”

I was skinny and was told quite often about my lack of flesh. My mind said, “There’s something wrong with you.”

I worked hard to make good grades and when another student surpassed me, the voices in my head would start again, “You don’t measure up.”

So, do you get my point? I was allowing rejection to form in my mind based on what others were doing or saying.

Rejection can grow a root in our lives if we do not deal with those feelings in a scriptural way. The fruit of that root produces:

• Seclusion – we avoid the risk of relationships to prevent being hurt again.
• Anger and aggressiveness – we shun and hurt others by our actions.
• Depression – we wallow in self-pity and the endless cycle of hopelessness and despair grows and can cause physical sickness.
• Hyper-sensitivity – we display hurts seeking for justification in our feelings and become easily offended.

The Rejection of Jesus

No one has ever experienced the amount of rejection Jesus faced. In every area of His life, He faced ridicule and abuse in some form.

• Jesus was rejected by the religious leaders (John 11:53).
• He was rejected by his hometown (Luke 4:28-29).
• He was rejected by his followers (John 6:66).
• He was rejected by the Twelve (Matthew 26:26, Mark 24:50.
• He was rejected by his family (Mark 3:21).

In of all this rejection, Jesus stayed focused on fulfilling God’s will. As the Son of Man, he had the ability to feel the same emotions we feel; but as the Son of God He remained true to His purpose. He didn’t let the rejection of others sway what He knew He had to do. His spirit overcame His emotions (Mark 14:36). We have the same ability to overcome our feelings by the power of the Holy Spirit (John 16:33).

The Remedy

We can overcome feelings of rejection by:

• Putting more value on what God says about us than what other people or circumstances tell us.
• Surrounding ourselves with others who are committed to God. Jesus didn’t avoid sinners, but when he was around them he changed the atmosphere; he didn’t let the atmosphere change him.
• Knowing that rejection is a part of life on this fallen earth. But our part is to reject those feelings instead of absorbing them.
• Forgiving because Christ forgave us. All those who rejected Jesus were forgiven by Him. Even Judas—the one who never received the forgiveness extended to him.

Jesus gives us value.

The ultimate rejection Jesus experienced was rejection by His Father. “My God, my God, why have your forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46).  He did this so we could be accepted. This was the worst thing that had ever happened to Him. For all eternity Jesus had been in union with His Father. Even after He laid aside the benefits of His deity to come to earth, He still had the fellowship with God until His Father had to turn away because of the sin that had been laid upon His Son. Jesus was willing to endure the worst rejection of His life so we could be accepted. That shows us how valuable we are to Him.

Best-selling author and businessman, Harvey Mackay stated, “Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.”

Someone else’s treatment of us doesn’t reflect our value. Jesus said we were all worth dying for. That should make all the difference in the world.

Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Rejection comes in many forms. How can we conquer it? (click to tweet)

Determining the Difference Between Godly Anger and Destructive Anger

by Barbara Latta

Anger can be destructive.

The airwaves reverberate with news accounts of killing rampages in schools, parking lots, movie theatres, and homes. Interviewed witnesses react in surprise at the actions of the

perpetrator because problems are not evident to citizens. Authorities overlook warning signs that could have averted a disaster. Anger simmering under the surface went unnoticed until it was too late.

In other cases, the violence is evident in a person’s life and deeds, but nothing is done to subvert the results.

Godly Anger

When Jesus cleansed the temple of the moneychangers by driving them out with a whip, He was angry at the way His Father’s house was being treated. Greed was the motive behind the selling of animals, not the requirement of the sacrificial law. His anger was justified because He was not thinking of Himself; He was honoring His father.  He knew the corrupt hearts of those doing the selling. When Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:26, “In your anger, do not

sin,” this is the type of anger he was talking about. We need to keep a holy anger against sin, but not against the sinner.

Anger at injustice is godly if the anger is diverted into a good cause to fight the wrong. MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, is an organization formed by parents who lost their children to drunk drivers. Rather than seek revenge, they sought to prevent others from experiencing the same hurt by making the public aware of the frequency of these tragedies and by seeking to keep intoxicated drivers off the road.

The Root

Whenever we feel anger it is because something inside us was triggered by an event or

Ungodly anger can grow into our soul.

spoken word which may have started out small, but over time escalates into volcanic reactions.

It’s hard to admit, but we become angry because something invaded self. Why is it such a

big deal to us when we get cut off in traffic? Because we are made less than valuable by a stranger who thought his or her right to our space on the pavement was theirs.  We feel unimportant and anger surges against the violator.

When children and youth are bullied at school they want vengeance against their tormentors. Crude comments and threats form feelings of unworthiness when they are compared to the offender. When the victim doesn’t value themselves, hurtful comments take root and become truth to their mind. Hurt people spend the rest of their lives becoming defensive as a way to protect from further pain. Angry outbursts and actions are the result.

The Solution

The solution is to recognize anger as a fruit growing from a deeper root and cut the connection off by knowing who we are in Christ.

If we know we are loved, and know we have been made worthy by the blood of Christ, then the root is not allowed to grow. Instead, the fruit of the Spirit can come out of us instead of the fruit of the flesh. The key here is to have divine revelation through spending time with the Father who loves us more than we can ever comprehend. The Holy Spirit teaches us

who we are in Christ and what our inheritance is. We are made valuable by the blood He shed and no matter how someone else treats us; another’s actions do not lessen our worth to Him.   Feelings of anger can still rise up, but learning we are not inadequate, unloved, or unworthy can override the emotions.

Peace comes when God controls us.

Realizing the actions of others are caused because they themselves do not feel valued can shine a new light on the situation. The responsibility of hurtful actions is not eliminated, but they can be understood. It is up to each one of us to become aware of our position in Christ and not determine our value by other’s opinions, treatment, or the circumstances of life.  But when we direct rage at someone because of what they did to us, it is really selfishness because we feel our rights have been violated in some way. The tragedies we hear about today happen because a seed of anger was allowed to grow in a person’s life for a period of time.

No matter how big or small the circumstance is, recognizing and replacing the source of anger with God’s opinion will disintegrate the root before it can grow.

“Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9 NKJV).

What are some ways you can share that help to control the wrong kind of anger? Have you had an incidence where you have used godly anger to right a wrong? Share your thoughts.