How Can We Conquer the Root of Rejection?

by Barbara Latta

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me!” This often-taunted phrase is a

How can we conquer the root of rejection

lie. Words can hurt worse than a physical injury and last much longer. The emotional scars left behind can take years to heal if the hurt is not dealt with properly. Rejection comes in many forms such as bullying from peers or abuse by those in positions of authority.

But we can have a great life in one area and still experience rejection in other areas of our lives and the effects can be just as devastating if left unchecked.

Rejection Isn’t Always Through Abuse

My home was very loving and kind. I didn’t grow up with abuse, foul language, yelling, drugs, alcohol or lack.

But there were times when I felt the ultimate rejection.

I was shy. I didn’t initiate friendships or participation in games and sports; therefore, when teams were formed, I was the last one chosen.

I wasn’t the cute kid who won the little beauty contests. No one ever told me I was ugly, but my ears always perked up when someone else was told how pretty they were. So, my mind said, “You’re ugly.”

I was skinny and was told quite often about my lack of flesh. My mind said, “There’s something wrong with you.”

I worked hard to make good grades and when another student surpassed me, the voices in my head would start again, “You don’t measure up.”

So, do you get my point? I was allowing rejection to form in my mind based on what others were doing or saying.

Rejection can grow a root in our lives if we do not deal with those feelings in a scriptural way. The fruit of that root produces:

• Seclusion – we avoid the risk of relationships to prevent being hurt again.
• Anger and aggressiveness – we shun and hurt others by our actions.
• Depression – we wallow in self-pity and the endless cycle of hopelessness and despair grows and can cause physical sickness.
• Hyper-sensitivity – we display hurts seeking for justification in our feelings and become easily offended.

The Rejection of Jesus

No one has ever experienced the amount of rejection Jesus faced. In every area of His life, He faced ridicule and abuse in some form.

• Jesus was rejected by the religious leaders (John 11:53).
• He was rejected by his hometown (Luke 4:28-29).
• He was rejected by his followers (John 6:66).
• He was rejected by the Twelve (Matthew 26:26, Mark 24:50.
• He was rejected by his family (Mark 3:21).

In of all this rejection, Jesus stayed focused on fulfilling God’s will. As the Son of Man, he had the ability to feel the same emotions we feel; but as the Son of God He remained true to His purpose. He didn’t let the rejection of others sway what He knew He had to do. His spirit overcame His emotions (Mark 14:36). We have the same ability to overcome our feelings by the power of the Holy Spirit (John 16:33).

The Remedy

We can overcome feelings of rejection by:

• Putting more value on what God says about us than what other people or circumstances tell us.
• Surrounding ourselves with others who are committed to God. Jesus didn’t avoid sinners, but when he was around them he changed the atmosphere; he didn’t let the atmosphere change him.
• Knowing that rejection is a part of life on this fallen earth. But our part is to reject those feelings instead of absorbing them.
• Forgiving because Christ forgave us. All those who rejected Jesus were forgiven by Him. Even Judas—the one who never received the forgiveness extended to him.

Jesus gives us value.

The ultimate rejection Jesus experienced was rejection by His Father. “My God, my God, why have your forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46).  He did this so we could be accepted. This was the worst thing that had ever happened to Him. For all eternity Jesus had been in union with His Father. Even after He laid aside the benefits of His deity to come to earth, He still had the fellowship with God until His Father had to turn away because of the sin that had been laid upon His Son. Jesus was willing to endure the worst rejection of His life so we could be accepted. That shows us how valuable we are to Him.

Best-selling author and businessman, Harvey Mackay stated, “Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.”

Someone else’s treatment of us doesn’t reflect our value. Jesus said we were all worth dying for. That should make all the difference in the world.

Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Rejection comes in many forms. How can we conquer it? (click to tweet)