by Barbara Latta
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Guilt vs. shame what's the difference?
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“Shame on you!”
How many times
did we hear these words growing up? Well-meaning parents and teachers may have
said these words in an attempt to correct bad behavior and prevent it from
happening again. I suppose the thought was that if a child could be made to
realize how wrong something was, it wouldn’t happen again.
But, without
redemption, the fallen nature of man prevails.
God’s plan for
perfection was thwarted in the Garden of Eden. Man’s oneness of spirit, soul
and body became separated when sin entered the world. The conscience of man
became his defining factor saying, “You did wrong.”
Blood was
required so God brought the bloody skins of a slain animal to cover the guilt.
The couple was forgiven.
But the shame
continued. I can imagine the way their minds ran away with the accusations that
came from the mouth of their tempter. “You are bad.” “Look at what you did.” “The
human race is doomed because of you.”
How do we determine the difference between guilt and shame?
Guilt is tied
to what we do. Guilt says, “I did
bad.”
Shame is tied
to who we perceive we are. Shame says, “I am
bad.”
Guilt is from a
wrong behavior. We can be forgiven, and the wrong actions are over.
Shame stays
with us and locks onto the mind condemning us for the behavior that has been
forgiven. Shame can cause addictions because the person is seeking to medicate
the pain of past sins.
How do we get released from the prison
of shame and guilt?
- Accept forgiveness. We admit we are guilty sinners, but because of the blood of
Jesus, we don’t stay that way. If we
confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse
us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
- Dwell in the
presence of Christ to stay focused on the redemption we have been given. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch
cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine neither can you,
unless you abide in Me (John 15:4 NKJV).
- Transform thinking. And do
not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,
that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God
(Romans 12:1-2).
Our identity is
not tied to our behavior. A born-again person’s identity is tied to Jesus.
Despite our sinful actions, we are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Our spirit is born again. Our soul (mind and emotions) must remain focused on
the Word to agree with who we are in the spirit.
We are not
shame. We are righteous.
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3 ways to be free of guilt and shame
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Once we agree
with this truth of the Word, shame drops to the ground and is powerless.
People who
habitually live in sin have been referred to as shameless. What they really are is conscience-less. God gave us a conscience to direct us from right
and wrong. Even a person who is not born again has a sense of good and evil.
The problem is when wrong is continually adopted in life, the heart becomes
hardened and the conscience no longer directs. Speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a
hot iron (1 Timothy 4:2).
These people
would have experienced guilt over their behavior at some point but continuing
to ignore that guilt would have produced a lifestyle of hardness toward God. In
that case, they may feel no remorse for their actions, or the remorse they have felt is so repressed
they have accepted the words that they are worthless, so they continue to feed
the lifestyle.
So, we do want to be shameless in the respect of identity. But we do not want to confuse this term with what is considered shameless behavior, which should be
referred to as a hardened conscience.
Jesus left the
Holy Spirit on the earth when he ascended to heaven. He is called the Comforter
for a reason. He comforts, He does not condemn. He shows us the way, He does
not shame us.
A victorious
life depends on knowing who we are in Christ. There is no room for shame or
guilt because it has been dealt with at the cross. Our place is to receive that
truth and become free. If you abide in My word, you are My
disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you
free (John 8:31-32).
Only the truth
that is known sets us free.
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