Why Do We Compare Ourselves With Others?

by Barbara Latta

We tend to look at others through rose colored glasses.

Why do we compare ourselves with others?

Because we are looking at another person’s accomplishments through rose colored glasses, but we use a magnifying glass to look at what we think are our deficiencies.

Recently, I had the opportunity to listen to a successful author making a presentation to a group of instruction-hungry writers.

While this beautiful, humble, and talented woman has had her own struggles in life and in her writing journey, I was still envious.

Why?

Because she had something I don’t have yet.

Success.

Published articles in several major national magazines.

Books in the works with an agent.

Years of writing experience.

I had to examine myself later that day to determine the source of these feelings. I was encouraged by her words and illuminated by the instruction she gave. Yet, I discovered I

Pity parties are as unhealthy as junk food.

was having a pity party.

You know the party where the balloons have burst and the elastic pieces are on the floor, the dirty paper plates are over-running the trash can and your stomach is icky from too much cake. You feel rotten.

Why do you feel rotten? Because you are doing something you shouldn’t be doing. Eating too much sugary confections, red-dye laden Kool-aid, and salty potato chips.

So my pity party was because I was doing something I shouldn’t be doing; something unhealthy.

I was having bad thoughts about myself because of comparison to a professional who had been in the writing business for years.

When we do this, we are not seeing the hard work behind accomplishments or the struggles other humans go through in their private lives with everyday problems—and some that are not so every day.

How did I leave the pity party with a gift instead of trash?

• By rehearsing my victories in the writing world with published devotions, anthologies, articles, and blog posts and I have the support of my husband and family.
• Reading what God says about me.  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
• Giving myself affirming statements.  How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! (Psalm 139:17).
• Another’s success is because of their hard work and mine can be too.  But I must follow my own plan and learn from those who have gone before me by studying the craft I am trying to perfect. I have realized consistency is the yellow brick road to Oz.

Experience the gift of leaving the pity party behind.

Yeah, I left my pity party behind thankful for the experience that blessed me with another person’s life and left me richer for it.

But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load (Galatians 6:4-5).

How do you reply to invitations to pity parties?

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